Latest governmental WTF: Presidential alert

Captain Kirk performs a Public Service Announcement on behalf of the United Federation of Planets.

So, at 1818 Zulu yesterday, a FEMA-sponsored "Presidential alert" showed up on my phone. Presidential alert? WTF? Doesn't Trump already have a Twitter account?

That it happened didn't creep me out so much as it apparently has some folks. I think the creep out factor is related to its being called a "Presidential alert". The President is Donald Trump, and thus anything Presidential is connected to President Trump, and therefore subject to any number of evil and twisted ends in his subversion of laws and norms as he transforms America into a fascist dictatorship. Or whatever. Actually, if Trump knew anything about the test, I think it's likely that he learned about it from Fox news. I don't know, but I wouldn't think that something like this needs Presidential attention once the decision was made to implement the new capability. If he had been in the loop, I think he would have used it to thrash the news cycle, insisting that there be a personal message from him on that the inaugural broadcast. Say what you want about the guy, but he does know how to grab the spotlight and this was an massive opportunity for spotlight grabbing: most of the phones in the US. Opportunity missed bigly. But, I digress… back to the name Presidential alert.

Consider Article 2 Section 1 Clause 1 (A2S1C1) of the Constituion:

The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America.

The text alert capability is a part of FEMA's more general alert infrastructure -- the one which occasionally produces those god awful screechings on the radio from time to time. Why can't they make up some some nice little service oriented jingle and play that? Or something in praise of fuzzy kitties and you need to go get one or two or half dozen from the local shelter sung by Madeleine Peyroux or, better yet, voiced dramatically to music by William Shatner? But, I digress… FEMA is in the Executive branch and via A2S1C1we may conclude that in some perhaps unusefully vague sense it's not strictly inaccurate to label it Presidential, but they might call it something better. And "President Trump's greatest alert ever issued!" is not something better.

As for the alert itself, the notion of FEMA being able to ask carriers to spam their subscribers with an important message is not in itself troubling. However, it's hard to imagine something that every person with a phone in the US would need to know immediately. Incoming Russian nuclear missiles? Maybe. But a gal canning salmon in Navnek, Alaska probably doesn't need to know that Naranja, Florida is about to get clobbered by a hurricane or overrun by unstoppable mutant pythons from the Everglades who have suddenly developed a taste for people.

So, as for the fact there is a Federal alert system that incorporates cell phone service providers to give the government a push capability to deliver messages to a bunch of phones in the US, that doesn't worry me so much. They could change the name of the alerts, or not. Any emergency so important that everyone in the US needs to know right now is probably going to be coming from the President